Faker.

A thing I really don’t love is people who aren’t themselves. I get that sometimes it’s really hard to always be yourself, but I really wish that people were more like their “true” self more often. I just sat through a couple of months of interviews trying to make people like me and look like I’m the best for the job. The interview I felt best about (and got the job!!) is the one that I was acting like myself the most at. It felt comfortable and good to walk out knowing that I was myself and that was the best I could do.

I lived a double-life for quite a few years. Whether it was pretending like I was happy and doing just fine or whether I was sitting in the front row of church pretending that I was doing the best I could in life, I was being fake. I’m realizing how hurtful being fake really is. I’ve hurt myself a lot by not being true about who I really am and what I need and want. I let how I appeared and who I knew rule my life for far too long. I’m understanding that what should actually be important to me is caring about my family and close friends…along with myself.

So what happens when the closest people around you aren’t being their true selves? Or what happens when they are being themselves, but it’s not really something that you respect? Where do you go then? I’m not sure how much of a place I would really have to call someone out on these sorts of things. I think that I often feel inadequate to call anyone out on anything. I’ve had my times of lying, hurting, and making poor choices that led to a very fake life. It makes me feel like I could never call someone out on not being real.

Let me tell you this, fakers can only change being fake on their own. If you’re living a fake life, think about the people around you who are being affected by that. I can guarantee you that it’s hurting people. In order for someone to change their actions, something inside them has to change. Change comes from within, it doesn’t happen on its own, and it’s a constant battle to not go back. Change is often for the better, but I don’t get why it can take so long for someone to realize how necessary change is.